Since middle school, I have had the desire to gain three degrees by thirty. I never thought it could be a reality but I am almost there, hopefully within the next six months. This blog post will chronicle my journey to PhD and some lessons that I have learned.
I graduated highschool in 2008. As a first-generation college student, my mother over-emphasized the need to go to college and finish. I knew I was going to college, but I just did not know how I, or my mother, was going to pay for it. Fortunately, I was awarded the Gates Millennium Scholarship. Bill and Melinda Gates graciously created a scholarship program that completely covered undergraduate expenses, and covered graduate tuition if you studied particularly disciplines. I was accepted into UC Berkeley and was ecstatic to get away from home and start the journey of living out my collegiate dreams. I actually got too caught up in the social aspects of college and barely studied, which restricted me from applying to my intended, compacted major of Media Studies. I settled on Sociology. I thoroughly enjoyed my sociology courses so I was glad I settled on that major. As I was finishing up my degree, I began to consider postgraduate options. I was not ready to join the workforce, so my only other viable option was graduate school. The Gates scholarship program funded graduate school if it was in 6 particular areas of discipline. I figured I could go to grad school in education. In my senior year of undergrad, I began taking education courses to prep for my (unwanted) transition into education. I also took a job working with kids as a tutor. It was during my brief time that I learned how expansive the field is, as well as how much it was in need of help!
Since I was not ready to be a real adult and knew that my education would be paid for, I went on to get a master’s degree in Educational Studies from Loyola Marymount University. I had no clue what I would do with the degree. It was merely just filler for my life. If I knew what I know now, I would have better prepared myself for continuing onto a doctorate while I was working on a master’s degree. If you are reading this and considering going on to obtain a doctorate while working on a master’s, I would highly advise you to write and submit to journals and attend conferences. I wish I had the experience of attending conferences, writing articles and submitting to journals. It would have set me up nicely to be an academic and would have expanded my academic network.
My desire to never work ultimately led me into a doctorate program, and believe me that is not a sound reason for putting yourself through the work. After being in the program, I had to figure out what I really liked about education and being in school. One reason was learning. I absolutely love to learn information about various things. The other reason, which is really pushing through my program, is my desire to share and disseminate information. Hence, I have a blog. I really like sharing stories, my stories, and the stories of others. This has been my driving motivation to get through my program. While these are innate feelings that I have had throughout my educational experience, they truly came to the forefront as I am pursuing this doctorate degree because you really have to pull motivation from everywhere. School has always been easy and truly an after thought for me so now that I have to actual apply myself is really challenging.
I entered my doctorate program in the fall of 2014. I was the youngest in my cohort and had the least amount of experience. I’m still the youngest in many of my classes, which triggers imposter syndrome for real. I was enrolled full-time, so I was breezing through my coursework. I was on par to graduate in four years time that many other people finish and then I hit my first roadblock when trying to find a dissertation chair. My institution is somewhat small, with the School of Education being even smaller. Finding eligible and available faculty to chair your committee is not an easy task. I had secured one dissertation chair and truly procrastinated my way out of the relationship. I am not used to being consistent with anything besides my nail appointments. I scrambled to find another dissertation chair and ended up with a dissertation chair that I absolutely love.
I hit another roadblock on my journey: the qualifying exams. Before writing the dissertation proposal, you have to, essentially, show an understanding of the breadth of research on your topic. I had to write three twenty-page papers on my theoretical framework, methodology, and overall topic. On my first round of qualifying exams, I can say there were definitely not good. However, I was used to getting by doing the bare minimum. I am thankful that my committee sent me back to make edits. But in the moment, I dropped into a deep depression in regards to school. I took a whole year off of school and did not even attempt to look at my work. I was ready to drop out. Then, I got a call from my awesome dissertation chair who told me I was too close to not finish. I started thinking of all the people who would say they were so proud of me for making it this far. I thought of my mother who is so ready for me to finish this degree. I then worked on those exams until they were near perfect.
In early September, I defended my dissertation proposal officially making me a doctoral candidate. As I write this blog post, I am waiting on IRB approval so that I can begin to recruit participants and complete my research study. I hope to have all of my data collection completed in the Spring and possibly be finished with the entire dissertation by Summer, or for sure by Fall. I am back on the right path, still continuing my journey, and ready to be Dr. Kandace with a K.
