Over the last few years, I’ve really began to question whether or not the length of time you have known someone really impacts a friendship. I’ve seen countless memes and tweets that push the same message about time not affecting the relationship you have with someone. It once was something that I use to boast about. “We been holding each other down for 12 years”, but does it even matter?
I’ve only come to this realization recently that the amount of time you may have been friends with someone really means nothing if you do not continue to grow in the friendship together. For me, growth in friendships exceeds just aging together, but to also acknowledge your faults and being real honest with one another. What I’ve experienced is that honesty is an ideal that many people simply cannot really live out. I never thought it was such a complicated task but it’s surprising, and alarming, how much people blatantly lie. As a result of not being honest, you then cannot be trusted and when trust, in any relationship, is comprised it’s a wrap!
When thinking about your closest friendships, what really holds you together? Is it time? Is it memories? Is it the way you feel around one another? I had to ask myself these questions and the only one that held the most weight was how I felt. Time is not real and memories fade, but the feelings seem to always remain. Sounds like a corny R&B lyric but it really is the truth. It’s not in the least bit healthy to be in relationships that don’t make you feel good.
As I mature and get older, I am much more grateful for the people who better understand themselves which helps them to better navigate their relationships, both romantic and platonic. I’ve been able to become very close friends with people in a very short amount of time because there’s no need in withholding things from one another. Moving forward, it would be great to say that we have a 20+ year friendship but it doesn’t mean a thing if the friendship isn’t growing.
